Don't Feel Overwhelmed!

When I talk to less experienced gardeners, they always say they don't know where to start and that they feel overwhelmed. They are afraid to make mistakes and are therefore paralyzed with indecision. This results in unfinished garden projects and people not satisfied with what they see when they look out their windows. If you have ever felt this way, read on, as I share a few tips on how I manage doubt, fear and uncertainty in gardening.

The good news is that you are not alone. I feel the same way on each garden project I tackle! It can be daunting to see an overgrown planting bed or a bare flower bed and not know where to start. I often have the same questions running through my mind:

• Where to start?

• This will be so much work!

• I don't want to make the wrong decision!

• I'm not sure what I actually want in this garden!

And with these thoughts, that feeling of being overwhelmed creeps in and undermines my confidence and starts to diminish the joy I have for gardening. My solution? Like anything in life, break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces. I don't need to know all the answers, I just need to reframe the project into more helpful questions and a series of manageable tasks. Little by little, the garden begins to takes shape and new ideas pop into my head that lead me to the next small thing to tackle.

Here are my 5 reframing questions:

1. How do I want to use this space?

2. How should I structure this space?

3. What colors, textures and scents do I want to experience?

4. How do I break this into smaller tasks?

5. What is the right phasing and timing for me?

Let me give you an example of how these questions help me on a current project I am working on. I am redesigning the entire lawn and gardens north of our house - over 2000 sq ft (200m2) of gardens - by far the largest project I have ever tackled. Previous owners had beautifully landscaped 25+ years ago with a manicured lawn surrounded on all sides by extensive flower beds and hedges. Unfortunately, years of neglect left unruly hedges and a mishmash of dead and overgrown plants and trees. To make this project more daunting, the location of the lawn is directly adjacent to the north terrace which runs the entire length of the house and is where we do a lot of entertaining in the summer. So this lawn area will be seen across all four seasons from every room of the house and used when we are outside 9 months of the year. No pressure!

To be honest, I avoided this project at first and prioritized other gardens which were much smaller and where I could have a quick, visible impact. But, all the while, I was thinking of ideas for the north lawn. I studied different websites for inspiration and took note of aspects of other gardens and lawns I liked, but I too intimidated to start.

Then I was forced into action this past fall when our septic tank needed to be replaced, which was directly under the north lawn! 4 men, a bulldozer and a weeks worth of work later, we had a new septic tank but the entire north lawn was destroyed. I could no longer ignore this area of the property and needed to tackle it. So my planning began in earnest across the winter. At one point I felt completely overwhelmed and was second guessing myself. That's when my husband reminded me, break it down into chunks, you don't need to make all the decisions at once. He was right, I was feeling the pressure of designing the entire space at one time and while that might work for some people, it doesn't work for me. I need to let the process unfold more organically and change as the garden evolves. Here is is how the reframing questions are helping me to tackle this enormous project:

1. How do I want to use this space?

Our priorities for using this space include: maintaining a sizable lawn for games like badminton, and creating a seating area for shaded summer lunches and dinners.Of course, we also want it to be beautiful all four seasons.

2. How should I structure this space?

Here I break down the project into the key structural elements I have to tackle. This could include reshaping the beds, pruning back existing trees and hedges, removing plants I know I do not want, hardscaping (pathways, borders, stepping stone, etc) and where the seating will go.

3. What colors, textures and scents do I want to experience?

To me this is critical, too many people design the garden from the perspective of being in the garden, but most of the time you see your garden through the windows of your house! From a color perspective, I love greens, whites and yellows. And of course we live in Provence so I need to have some lavender blue in there! Choice of color and texture really helps decide what plants to pick. The garden isn't just visual, it can also be for touch and smell if that is important to you. For me, I want the rosemary, lavender and roses in the garden because I want that scent in the air when we sit outside. An easy step to take here, is go to your local nursery and just walk around. Make notes of the plants you find appealing, colors that attract your attention and textures that draw your eye.

4. How do I break this into smaller tasks?

I needed to start accomplishing smaller tasks in the garden to make progress. First up - cut the hedges back to the size I want which allowed me to see the space more clearly. I was amazed by how much more open space I had once I cut back the hedges and trees. This really helped me visualize the space more. Second, with a shovel (or a can of spray paint) I drew a line where I wanted the flower beds to start and stop. This helped me see just how large the lawn would be compared to the flower beds. Another tip here is to not feel the pressure to select all the plants you want in all the beds. For example, I am breaking this garden into 3 different zones which allows me to address them in smaller areas so I don't feel so overwhelmed.

5. What is the right phasing and timing for me?

It is important to think in layers and that gardens are always evolving. This is also better on the budget as you can carve out what you want to accomplish this year vs. next year, or Spring vs. Fall. I often advise friends to start with the foundation or anchor plants (trees, hedges, main bushes, etc), and then live with the space for a season before adding other perennials or annuals.

This project is not done and I have much more to do, but the point of sharing this example is to help you see how you can break down a garden project into steps or smaller bite size chunks so you can avoid that overwhelmed feeling. I hope this is helpful. Gardening should be joyful not stressful.